During yoga class, do you find your eyes wandering to the other mats in the room, checking everyone else’s form, or comparing yourself to that insanely thin, long-limbed blond in front of you? Do you push your body to the point of pain and discomfort in order to “look” more flexible? Do you silently congratulate yourself when your forward bends are clearly the deepest, or feel embarrassed that you have to do a modified version of Chattarunga Dandasana? Do you refuse to use blocks or straps to facilitate better form in a pose because “nobody else is doing it”?
I’m not implying that competitive behavior is “bad” in a yoga class. We are social creatures, and part of social interaction is an inborn desire to compete for resources, for attention, and for status. Nobody wants to be the runt of the litter. Some amount of competition can be healthy for us, as it inspires us to reach higher, work harder, and push ourselves a little further than we would at home. In a class situation, each participant feeds off the energy of the others, and that energy can be invigorating.
I’ve heard people complain that they struggle to motivate themselves to practice yoga at home, because they are too easy on themselves, and therefore become bored. The social pressure of a group can really dial up the internal fire of a workout. But I wonder if we are a little addicted to the ego-massaging effects of our yoga classes.
Can we feel satisfied simply being present on our mats, alone in our thoughts, quiet in our minds, centered in our hearts? Can we practice yoga with gratitude for the floor which supports us as we reach to the sky? With appreciation for the air that rushes in and out of our lungs? With respect for our bodies as we ask them to endure a challenge? With compassion for our bodies as we come out of a pose that is beyond our capacity? Can we forgive ourselves when we fall or stumble in front of everyone? What do our souls learn as we teach our bodies to relax, breathe, and be patient in a challenging situation? Can we acknowledge, without jealousy, the strengths of the people around us, while also being aware of our own unique abilities? Is this ability to find peace in the midst of trial the essence of happiness?
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I do remember feeling a little competitive at times in your class, but it was definitely a good thing. And, interestingly enough, I am just as hard on myself when I do yoga or pilates at home. I think I am competitive against myself!